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All your heckling resources
here
It seems no team is dead yet in the National League West.
With less than a month left in the regular season, every game,
every pitch, and every at-bat will count for the Padres and
all the rest.
So will every heckle.
If baseball is our national pastime, maybe heckling should be our national anthem. It's our right as fans to let the world know that we want a pitcher and not a belly itcher. I long for the moment when someone screams to Barry Bonds, "This guy hasn't driven anybody home since the junior prom."
Does heckling actually work? Do comments about the girth of
someone's mother get under the skin of athletes? Players are
conditioned to ignore derogatory comments, but sometimes they
can be difficult to ignore. I think we've seen enough
highlight reels of athletes climbing into cheering sections to
know the answer to that question.
So, knowing that
Bruce Bochy's boys are in a battle to the end and could use
some support from the 10th man, I present to you
www.heckledepot.com, a Web site resource for all your heckling
needs.
Cool stuff
+ The site has heckles for
pitchers, batters, fielders, the bullpen, and so much more.
Some personal favorites directed at umpires: "We know you're
blind, we've seen your wife." "How'd you become an umpire?
Flunk out of tollbooth school?" Classic stuff.
+
Probably the most frustrating thing about getting heckled is
not have a quick comeback to put the heckler in his place. Not
to worry, HeckleDepot.com has it covered. Heckle: "Hey, how's
your wife and my kid?" Comeback: "The wife's great. The kid's
retarded!" Ba-dum!
Check at the door
+ There's
heckling in cricket? If baseball was derived from the English
game, I guess that makes sense. But heckling seems more apple
pie than afternoon tea.
+ There are great heckling
links for golf, hoops and hockey, but I'd love to see one
dedicated to heckling in the workplace. Here's one: "Hey Alex,
see these shiny button-looking things? That's called a
keyboard."
The grade
A simple site with one
outcome in mind: Get under the guy's skin. Brilliance like
that deserves four out of five mouses.
Marc Figueroa is
supporting a movement to introduce heckling as an Olympic
sport. Nobody cares about curling and fencing anyway. He can
be reached at marcfig@aol.com.
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